Learning about Life and the importance of friends at 3am.

T - is a social worker that works for Childline.
S - photographer, looking for a path of least resistance.

***

T - you called, anything urgent?
02:42am.

S - yea this link is urgent
http://moonchasing.wordpress.com/2010/10/29/invisible-city-part-one-a-short-history-of-a-slum/
tom shits going down, bulldozers are chucking the slum guys whove lived aeons, and destroying all their houses to build the airport. People who have worked for 6 Rupees ON THE AIRPORT to build their houses over the years are now getting bulldozed down without rehabilitation, and theres a bunch of people trying to stop this. and i need to go there to photograph but i dont know who or where or how yet

T - ok

S - so nothing i was crying and needed to talk, so i thougt id call but its cool. i feel helpless and BLIND and surrounded by too much pain and i either want out or to be immersed in it and try to stop it

T - i usually take the out

S - what o you do when you meet some little girl whose raped and shit or any kid whose fucked up.
what do you do if you desperately want to scream and just have it stop or leave and wish you never knew
what do you do....

T - i do whats i can do for that child to the best of my ability, but i also emotionally separate myself out of the equation
to best of my ability

S - emotionally seperate yourself ? how od you do that. im crying reading articles not even seeing it happen.

T - my emotional state is of no value or use or benefit to the child. They are not looking for someone to cry with

S - yeah i understand. it doesnt add value only removes from it but what do you do about your OWN PAIN from seeing/knowing shit

T - cry it out when i need to, swallow it when i dont

S - and how o you feel about the neverending cycle of bullshit youre immersed in?

T - i feel at least its a cycle

S - as in, powerless to change the situation in this lifetime only help along the way?

T - yup.at least i am diggin when the shit piles on... even though there is more shit then i can dig

S - If the guy calls me to tell me about this shit im crying abour right now im going for it.

T - do it

S - yea so dont you feel its futile to be in the shit n not the flowers?

T - there are no flowers :-)

S - there are flowers if you dont know theres shit. So following the flowers or following the shit i cant figure out life itself
what the FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO if i want to help the shit and i want to be IN the flowers at the same time...i cant rest in peace either way

T - just cause u chase the imaginary flowers doesnt make you a bad person

S - ignorance does feel like bliss. running for the flowrrs - art music love travel nature...or getting into the mass shit...matam, demolitions, dharavi and leather

T - you just have to do what makes you happy wihtout making other ppl miserable

S - both make me cry in different ways. This is why i cannot get into commercial world stuff. Its not flowers nor is it shit. It's not clear peace and its not helping anyone, not even me.

T - i dont know

S - i dont know either....

T - sorry really gonna pass out, we'll talk later

S - really really needed this conversation.
Thanks so much