To Vomit the Undigestible

Monday, August 08, 2011

Mumbai Dharavi Documentary

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Helen Fisher ted talk

Friday, July 01, 2011

Manna - Psilocybin Mushroom Documentary (complete)

Wow, a treasured download reuploaded after many years!! : D
Thank you Simon. G. Powell for your deep introspection and vital works.

Love With Gaia coming up...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Insane Breakdance (Phils sons teacher)

Saturday, April 09, 2011

ho hum

I believe that existence, in reality, is an anachronism. We don't experience anything in a sequential order; we don't live in a linear reality. Instead, the whole of our experiences are placed upon us all at once, a single point in time that is present in all other points pertaining to the specific life.

Our minds, however, cannot accept a reality such as this. We are not abstract nor are we capable of handling a lifetime of information in one short, single blast of knowledge. We must therefore view all experiences in a linear fashion, our mind puts our existence in a manner in which we can comprehend, thus giving us our present idea of time and our relation to said paradigm.

This is all conjecture of course. Nobody could prove that we don't exist in an extended time-release capsule form; I couldn't prove that I'm right, but since nothing is conclusively wrong it wouldn't make much difference, would it?

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Ray Lamontagne - Crazy Gnarls Barkley Cover)

organise all biological info by design and engineering function - EOL
inventor - creation - how does nature remove salt from water - kidneys and mangroves - new models from elders, nature.

Sharklet Technologies - Building walls for Hospitals to repel bacteria. from the way a sharkskin which is designed to not hold bacteria

Quinetiq , Grimshaw - Andrew Parker - gathered info from the wings of a beetle living in the desert which collects fog on its shell. He is using the same technology on the sides of buildings to collect fog water.

Calera - Cement Company in the US - Technology from Coral Reefs which use CO2 as building blocks. They plaster 1/2 tonne into the cement and using CO2 in their material and reverse the process of CO2 emission during the cement making process.

OneSun - Solar Cells - very cheap - rechargeable every 5 years.

AQUAporin - water filter - desalination membranes - we usually push it thru a membrane and wonder why its clogged ith salt but in nature - using forward osmosis like in our blood cells to leave the solids inside and naturally push water molecules out.

GM Opal - Bionic car - Minimum material for maximum strength like used in trees and roots - Make bridges etc

organise all biological info by design and engineering function - EOL
inventor - creation - how does nature remove salt from water - kidneys and mangroves - new models from elders, nature.

Friday, February 04, 2011

Learning about Life

Guitar Deej
Yoga + 108 Surya Namaskars
Clock time
Classes to learn art, music.
Money to Travel

Friday, January 14, 2011

RSA Animate - The Secret Powers of Time

Monday, January 03, 2011

England: Arambol pt3

England: Arambol pt3

Monday, November 29, 2010

Andrew Bird's one-man orchestra of the imagination | Video on

Andrew Bird's one-man orchestra of the imagination | Video on

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

In order of Imporatance:

Self Actualization





Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Eve Ensler: Embrace your inner girl | Video on

Eve Ensler: Embrace your inner girl | Video on

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


Barbatuques - Baiana

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Did You Know?

Friday, June 04, 2010

: )

Saturday, March 20, 2010


ameture renditions can be awesome too apparantly

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Man's Environment Powertrip

Precious Art Score:

At first I gwaked at it for a bit, wide eyed with wonderment trying hard to understate a face made by those who covet while uncomfortably speedspeaking in awe and minutes later my friend and awesome illustrator, Andrew Alderfer here in Pont Aven gave me his painting! woohoo! I think it's impeccable, intricate and alive. and will go up in my room with fond memories that run deep.

This blog can barely graze the surface about what I think of his work, but do check out his blog for some meaningful eye candy:

C'est la!
L'encre Dessinant:

La Peinture:

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Piano stairs - - The fun theory

I need more fun stuff...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

All is full of love

Bjork and Chris Cunningham pwnage

Chris Cunningham - Gucci

Inspirational advertisement...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Marine Drive, Mumbai, Google Earth

home - My house by the first stadium!

how cool is this!!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Dear Kanika,
Please refer to these links for futher instruction, motivation and inspiration when you feel bored during your free hours.. The effects will only be conducive to your aims for more hours of productive recreational activity
Thank you very much,

Poi Duet - Intense

Battle at Kruger - Nature's beautiful dances

Statment for Children at Matam Series:

Children are a fresh canvas of thought. Being underdeveloped, with respect to a wider perspective on where they stand in the world in terms of critical choice, their learning curve is partially directed in shadows of sectarian parental faith. Exposed to religious indoctrination they are guided with methods of religious demonstration, an aspect of religion that is an offspring of human moralities.

With the perspective of intuitive reasoning I would like to address the question of premature individual choice and religious indoctrination of children through these portraits.

Civilization Video - pure genius

Civilization by Marco Brambilla from CRUSH on Vimeo.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

3 days later If the 'intellectualizing me' had to advice the 'limited I' in all of us it would say:
Just be, just do it. don't think it (you just lost your moment, dont speak it (you just lost your moment:), your actions will be your expressions. Not in complacence but to your very fullest rising potential to honour this priviledge of existence, just be, to make the world a beautiful place, you are the teacher, student and the message, every moment counts, silence knows everything, your ego, desire, attachment, pain, fear, anger and thought is mindstuff, you ARE where your awareness rests, your action IS you, become it, do it, express the force, exist and sometimes thats enough.. :)

Golden brown texture like sun..

On sat 6th June 2009 TNT, mosh and I camped out in Ambi. It was a profound moment on this earth plane that I'll forever be grateful for and will never be able to re experience via my own merit hence all due credit must be given to psilocybe and the parabrahman.

We were given a map of the macrocosm with a discourse in silence, that broke down piece by piece the universal picture of creation with a negative iteration onward to the microcosmic, us. It was all explained while our minds worked on the soul and neuron level in complete synchronity. We travelled together; transcended space, time, mind, matter into wave beings; expressing and learning the oneness of  universal creator through sweet orgiastic sighs, ethereal space sounds, jumping planes in a quantum dance with every instinctual synaptic fire, merciless at feet of blissful mushroom clouds with a golden lining of intrinsic love, surrender and knowledge...mushroom therapie.

I know a few eternal messages, came through the limitations of diminished human memory systems while the collective mind was being rewired, connected and enabled for an upward soaring awareness on this grand ride

The moment you speak about a think you miss the mark so lets take this blog entry as a minute solar flare, a spark in a forest fire. A flash of human memory in an infinite play. A burning need to bring back a grain of sugar from the sand.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Matam: Bombay, India Jan 09

Shot on Thursday 8th Jan 09, Muharram - Matam at Bhindi Bazaar, Bombay, India.

And then i saw the kids with knives bleeding.
kids with knives...

Came home with blood on my arms, feet, face and my backback was soaked after backing up into the guy above.

Ofcourse it was an experience..ofcourse i have pages to write but everytime i try to do that theres this heavy uncomfortable urge to use profanity and everything that crosses the line of being opinionated and diplomatic.
It wasnt the act. It was the kids at Muharram.
I got plenty of responses and all were of shock. nobody expected this and now that its available, I believe everyone should have a look for some perspective on what goes on around the world in the name of religion.

I don't think I can get more raw in my words than this.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

hah swarathma gig shoot cancelled. no piddlyshit money and no stress going to bandra on muharram after walking around all day with blood on my feet.

I'm stuck between being very relieved and disappointed.

What can go wrong will go wrong...
or not?

M&M photoshoot.

Muharram and Music:

I'm intimidated about today. After basking in comfort provided by a thick blanket, self motivated seclusion and comfort food, I'm suddenly faced with a day where I've decided to photograph Muharram AND the Swarathma's album launch (Bangalore based folk rock band).

My day will start in the afternoon and end late at night. I'll spend some hours following the Juloos doing Matam at Bhindi Bazaar. I've never seen Matam practised, nor have I photographed it. I have no idea what kind of tiny details to look out for either but have a vague idea through photos online. After which I'll head straight for Bandra to a club called Bonobo (which is a type of monkey that likes to fuck after it gets violent, did they know this?).

The contrast between mourning, blood, pain, reflection, excused SIV and later, joyous creative harmonised and expressive musical outburst will end with a potential system shock for the hybernating lazy parasitic creative self.
Actually I'm positive that today is going to throw me off balance in the mental space im currently submerged in.


On re reading my last post, I'm disappointed that I couldnt accurately express the emotions behind my week in Gokarna and erroneously breaking that down into a factual, one sided account of what happened is veritably missing the mark and that post should be passed off as lame on all accounts


I;ve been posting on timepass threads on and i'm now aware that I absolutely hate messing around forums because of its addictive nature. Just like facebook. Unfortunately I'm sucked in so deep into the facebook addiction vortex that I shall look down up yet excuse it. : s


3 serious timewastage links I've been visiting:



Cat food takes like shit.
Cats on macs don't look good.
Exercise is a requirement not a luxury intertwined with freetime.
Facebook sucks.

Thursday, January 01, 2009


 1st Jan 2009. Looking back at the immediate past.
The last week of December 08' couldn't have been more fullfilling.
I spent the last 4g that i got from my Magic event on a trip to Gokarna.

I met some interesting characters who I chose to spend most of my time with. The three days before that were disturbing and interesting. I watched a friend do md alone with spurts and a rush of emotions and confusion within myself and between us. The trip on the whole was me learning about a surprisingly calm, intune with, clean and real part of myself with no disappointment or incliniation of being intoxicated or taking any moment for granted and focusing on what really was important.

The good stuff was hours of hanging out with Toni and Tommy from Finland. Remember this, rememeber this. It was absolutely great. Tommy. 'Tommy the cat' lover and drug voyager who I has earned a soft spot in my system for his gentle quiet and surprising nature. Toni is a random traveller, opinionated, very aesthetically pleasing to the eye with a literary gift who i bumped into by the bonfire. He's also the person who made the 'druggy folder' and collected all the Terence Mckenna and passed it on to Sourabh, random.person.no2, that i met in Bangalore via encountering Joos in Vata and grabbed this off him immediately.
The universe brought the learners, messengers, discoverers and people who are turned on by a handful of similar ideas from different worlds, together within a few months in 08'. Cheers Toni and Sourabh. : )

My travel company disappointed me where environment rigidness, enclosed mindspaces, lack of people exploration and a subliminal fixation on getting fucked up on drugs for the holiday which goes against my basic principle on travelling thereby bringing out a part of me that wanted to exclude myself from the above mentioned states.
Fair enough I suppose.

Returning home was a disappointment. No class, money that remained and a void on missing out on an exciting at gokarna after connecting with other travellers.

Good moments with Oscar though. : )

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I miss you so much it hurts :(

Saturday, December 20, 2008

'it'sallaboutthehesaidshesaidbullshit' -LB

Dear K,
This is what he said:
Sean: "I thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. I stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me. I fell into a deep peaceful sleep. I haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me? You're just a kid. You don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about."

Dear D,
This is what they said,
Will: You ever heard the saying any port in the storm?
Sean: Yeah.
Will: Maybe that means you.
Sean: In what way?
Will: Maybe you're in the middle of a storm a big fucking storm. The skies falling on your head. The waves are crashing over your little boat. The ores are about to snap. You're just pissing your pants. You're crying for the harbor. So, maybe you did what you got to do to get out. You know maybe you became a psychologist.
Sean: Bingo that's it. Let me do my job now.
Will: Maybe you married the wrong woman.
Sean: Maybe you should watch your mouth. Watch it right there chief all right.
Will: That's it isn't it? You married the wrong woman. What happened? What she leave you? Was she, ya know banging some other guy?
Sean: If you ever disrespect my wife again I will end you. I will fucking end you! Got that chief?
Will: Times up.
Sean: Yeah.

And the rest is :

Sean: You don't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you dared to love anybody that much.

Customer: Cute cat. What's his name?
Randal Graves: Annoying customer.
Customer: [grabs pack of cigarettes] Fuckin' dickhead.


Chewlies Gum Representative: "You're spending what? Twenty, thirty dollars a week on cigarettes... Fifty-three dollars. Would you pay someone that much money every week to kill you? Because that's what you're doing now, by paying for the so-called privilege to smoke!... It's that kind of mentality that allows this cancer-producing industry to thrive. Of course we're all going to die someday, but do we have to pay for it? Do we actually have to throw hard-earned dollars on a counter and say, "Please, please, Mr. Merchant of Death, sir; please sell me something that will give me bad breath, stink up my clothes, and fry my lungs... Of course it's not that easy to quit; not when you have people like this mindless cretin so happy and willing to sell you nails for your coffin... Now he's going to launch into his rap about how he's just doing his job; following orders. Friends, let me tell you about another bunch of hate mongers that were just following orders; they were called Nazis, and they practically wiped a nation of people from the Earth... just like cigarettes are doing now! Cigarette smoking is the new Holocaust, and those that partake in the practice of smoking or selling the wares that promote it are the Nazis of the Nineties! He doesn't care how many people die from it! He smiles as you pay for your cancer sticks and says, "Have a nice day."


Arresting Officer: Sir, could I please see your license?
Pedro: Whuut?
Arresting Officer: Your license. Where's your license?
Pedro: It's back there on the bumper, man!
Arresting Officer: No, I mean your DRIVER'S license.
Pedro: Oh yeah, I got the bullshit back here man...
[gets license with great difficulty]
Pedro: Hey I thought'a somethin' really funny, man... Your mother!
Arresting Officer: [after dirty look, of course] Sir, what's your name?
Pedro: uuhhh... Isn't in on the license, man? Yeah, that's it! Pedro De Pacas, man, that's my name...


Border Guard: So, how long you've been in Mexico?
Pedro: A week. I mean a day.
Border Guard: Well, which is it? A week or a day?
Pedro: A weekday


Sgt. Stedenko: Now just how well do you know that freak with the basketball?
Unknown: Which basketball?
Sgt. Stedenko: Which basketball?

And Toto said:

Say what again, Say What Again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Pussy Art

Saturday, December 06, 2008

On the other hand:


"The writer must be able to revel and roll in the abundance of words; he must know not only the direct but also the secret powers of the word. There are overtones and undertones to a word, and lateral chaos, too" - Knut Hamsun (Norwegian Novelist)

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Looking in from out here:

I build cities on my wrists and raze them. 
[I write letters on my knees and erase them.]
22 Apr 2003


let me say this now, while we still trust our voices, while our voices are young and bluescarred and beautiful.

let me say this when the evening is liquid beauty and bottled up, everything glimmering and out of reach. it is spring, your words on my windowpane. let me say the light is different, I can finally see. it is violent, dreadful, I sleep with your words & never wake without fear, all chronic coughing and exhaustion. this light, your words, & I can see I will die young & hard in my bones; let me say lay me in the grave of our terminal girlhoods. 

all your text, let me say, it's remorseless. it's vaginal desolation. it's walking backwards to the temple it's ringing bells with tongues it's pissing in the holy water it's licking the lips of gods. let me say it's asking priests how to fuck. it's get your hands off my mouth and on my breasts, it's come on what the fuck are you waiting for, it's are you still pretending you're not moved. it's electric blue laughs and cellophane complexities and foxtrot elegies. 

let me say, it's gorgeous desperation. it's feline madness and saucers full of dreams. it's gingham dresses and bleeding wrists. it's fallow fields and a tiger lily. let me say I know you make promises so you can hear the sound of their splinters. let me tell you I know you by your scars. let me wonder myself sick and vomit your papercut stars. it's boyfuck shimmy. it's 'heartache' written in sparkle. it's 'love' written in spit. 

let me say this now: shut up, shut up, you are ruining me.



This post is documentation and evidence, of my attachment, her beauty, my growth, her message, my turbulence, her intensity, my explosions, her projection, my ego, her spirit and my death:

I paste this here as a reply and to remind myself that words, in this amendment, in this cycle and my reflection of the world are manipulative mirrors of everything that must not be spoken of. No more than photobooth effects on a mac and 0101s in a .txt. I cannot let words go because they're a volatile, consequential mode without which I would *feel* directionless, motionles, stagnent, scared and seperate.

A personal realization of mine is that my lust and trust for words at this stage is less credible in comparison to still/moving visuals, music, silence and touch.

Tools are Tools
Abuse is Abuse
That is This.

And I'm trying, K : )


RAM/ROM 29903

The rain is warm and the leaves are melting melting melting,
(This isn’t the first storm I’ve been in,
that just refuses to let up)

I feel something wet dripping onto my shoulders and tilt my head back to see all the colour sliding from the trees,
then I squeeze my eyes shut as it bleeds into puddles of muddy jade on the footpath, and leaves inky emerald stains to spread across my sleeves.

I can hear every drop fall and splatter on the pavement, unceasing, as I shiver once, cough twice and wonder what’s left...

The birds cry as the bricks shift and ache in their cold walls and a man hurries by, holding something close to his chest and I wonder if it’s precious or broken or alive, (Because I’m living proof you can be all those things, at the same time)
and there’s something soothing about the rivers of green running past my ankles.

I glance skyward again and let go of the only breath I thought I could hold, because today I see nothing but black branches,
against sky.

Question This:

What is the confusing this thats almost imploding on itself?

"Do you really need a reply? A reply is but symapthy, advise, or yet another gatecrash into your emotions." - Toto Vellani


Question That:

Pertaining to my question on headfuckage by an insatiatable proliferation of love towards an impalable 'that', Kanupriya on msn years ago said:

"Distance only as a ploy, a poetic
Device, a means to make the end


Monday, November 17, 2008

For Rave Magazine Dec Issue 2008

5 songs I'm currently in love with and on my playlist:

1. My Smile is a Rifle - 
   John Fruciante - Niandra Lades and Usually Just a T-shirt - 1994

2. Down by the Water - 
   PJ Harvey - To Bring You my Love - 1995 

3. Untitled track 14 and 18 - 
   John Fruciante - Niandra Lades and Usually Just a T-shirt - 1994

4. Weird Fishes-Arpeggi - 
   Radiohead - In Rainbows - 2007

5. 4 8 15 16 23 42 - 
   Deedrah - Temple of Science - 2007


Pick a song to dedicate:

 It's in our Hands - 
 Bjork - FamilyTree/Greatest Hits Boxset - 2002 - Dedicated to Kalhan Raina.


Wednesday, November 12, 2008


'I dont believe in an interventionist god, but i know darlin' that you do, but if did i would kneel down and ask him.....' - nick c.
to intervene just this once and give me the extraordinary power to boycott the ignorant, hurtful and unexplainable and go about my day with peaceful anticipation and memories of freedom.

and since we're here, and if i had the time, i might even ask to intervene with a handful of lost soul, selfsufficiency, an antimindstagnating pill, reframing of a recycling neuron network into a new framework and some more cool gadgets...


mmm....chocolate coated walnuts: my mum is a great great person.


2 horribly tiresome and nagging dreams/wishes:
A Micro lens
Concert photography for Radiohead.

yes here's where you laugh in my face and mock me with your upside grin and i smack you silly claiming both to be a possibility,


exercise everything...
mind, body, creativity and rights.


listen closer.


and so i understand that life IS a funny beast.

"Much like the ink tablets; when wet, they provide ink, when dry, they're still around, and when wet again they provide ink once more. I've been thinking of you for years."

high five, oscar?

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Nov 5th Wednesday

I saw a comet on saturday night in Mahableshwar that lasted a second and a half and shot across a cloudless starstruck sky. Intense. (more like WHAT the fuck was that...)

My legs gave way with astonishment and I leaped on k.
Poor boy.

More overwhelming than that is the astonishment of experiencing things so great in a continuous series over the past couple of months. Moving fuzzy trees bursting with life, sunsets so pink your eyes hurt, skies bursting with stars, a comet, a storm on the beach, clouds rising from underneath us, too many wild flowers, uncontrollable laughing fits, harsh disappointments, survival, attraction and repulsion simultaneously, contentment, grand and powerful kindness from strangers and aching silences.

All of it together has been a lifetime already.
How did we get so lucky?


oh..: Im contemplating dreads or should it be a protien treatment?

I fucked around on a linux terminal for 5 hours today learning commands and had SO much fun. Now I know whyyy they spend hours doing that. hah and alot starts with 'ssh'...almost like "ssh, just for you to know, not the common man ;)"

I'm broke.

I couldnt answer Oscar when he asked me what love is and feel bad for the disappointment.

I miss the simplicity that comes with boredom. At the moment, the latter is anything but.

I'm feeling hung up about getting randomly laid. Nothing seems soulful enough. Opportunities flow and I shun them.

I miss the old but not enough to want it so I need to suck it up and its hard.

I'm glad Terence Mckenna speaks of what we already know. It makes for crazy listening.
I'm glad John Fruciante doesn't. It makes for crazy listening.

I'm insecure about new thoughts and theories intimidating me enough to want to shun them.
Where's the acceptance, where's the acceptance?

I'm in shock that I spoke to Aunty Leela and Alisha in the same day after over 12 years and it was purely circumstantial.

I want to throw honesty and lovestuff around so the people who need it can get with the program and swallow some when required. That would be nice wouldnt it?

I need another fucking Tattoo. Someone hear me.

If all my sentences start with the absence of 'i' things might actually get somewhere...
And being aware of this is the first step to metamorphosis...

Save yourself from this madness of 'self'.
Be littler than the dot on the 'i'.
do it..
Do it.

28th Sept Sunday

m afraid if i speak ill miss the mark. graze the surface in the form of a hairline cut and feel nothing. my best bet is to be silent...
for the first time, im writing a blog entry...and i know where im going with this without having to say it.

I want to, for the sake of blogging, documenting, remembering this time... there might come a time when ill vent it out and tarnish it...miss my point...

for now im going to hang on to a feeling i dont posess at the moment and walk blind in the darkness and hope it will all fall into place if whats inside me really is as pure as i currently imagine.

devoid of sleep for over 29 hours, i realize i must write when things are white again.

MDMA and a pen.
MDMA and a pen.
MDMA and a pen.

"and tonight we'll lay in the garden
where were bury our souls into the ground
today we'll lay in the garden
we will lift our souls from out of the grave." - linda perry

Far too early or late?

So I made a new blog. I thought : 'ah, im done with this part of my life, heres where i start a new chapter' but I'm kind of lost there.. I get stuck in a weird place when I see another blog name on the top.
I only wrote 3 entries anyway.
So I'm going to post them here with dates and continue this one.
This is me. This was my life. This is my documentation. I really have nothing to run away from. Breaks are alright when coming to terms with passive aggresiveness, acceptance and everything else isnt it? 

Thursday, May 01, 2008

i broke into your world, your fucking obscene poetry where beauty is the sunrise, where the steam of coffee cupped in cheap white styrofoam paints mosaics in the air, where the smoke laced morning mist is breathing cigarettes like second hand opinions, its just a picture fucking perfect storybook creation, what costume did love have on anyway?

Maybe if we hadn't walked the edges
If I hadn't fallen (leapt) in
If you didn't cradle me inside your sweater
Like a tiny lost kitten, scruffy and grateful in your lap...
Perhaps if something invisible hadn't prompted you
Forced your thoughts, really into my mouth
Sinking down my throat, exploring the depths
Maybe if we hadn't dangled our feet in that icy water
Catching our deaths together
It wouldn't have ended as it did...
I'm still thankful for the circumstances.