To Vomit the Undigestible

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Everything that nobody will ever want to know.

Name: Kanika (Indian Birth Name), SleepyMaggie (Writing pseudonym)
Age: 22
Birthday: Feb 14, 1984
Sex: Female
Eye Color: Ranges from dark brown to black, my eyes turn red on rare occasions of extreme annoyance and frequently after extended weeping
Hair Color: Naturally black. I've dyed my hair red, blue, green, and burgendy. I'm presently letting all of the dyed hair grow out. I have naturally occurring grey/silver streaks in my hair.
Skin Color: Being Asian, I have slightly tanned skin.
Height: 5 feet 3 inches
Weight: Generally 65 kgs. Currently 63 due to eating right after severe hyperacidity..
Blood Type: B+
Others: (for lack of better things to do at 2 am.)
I am tone-deaf.
I like my music played extremely loud.
Enough to feel it under my feet.
I hate hairy underarms.
And backs.
I am bi-sexual.
This means I like sexual encounters with men as well as women.
Anything. Except up the ass.
I have insomnia, but when I sleep I require 9 hours atleast.
I have lucid dreams.
I have recurring dreams..
I have bipolar disorder.
This means I'm truely happy and extremely sad at the same time.
I take 1 gram of Depakote everynight.
I despise my psychiatrist. Hes a cunt.
I smoked almost a pack a day until 3 weeks ago.
I cant rememeber the last time I got drunk.
I'm happier this way.
I hadn't planned this.
I don't like people during most hours of the day.
I spend 5 hours making things with clay 5 times a week.
I'm sentimentally attached to my old Hobner guitar.
I'd save it before my sister if the house were on fire.
Random presents make me ecstatic.
I hate children that speak.
The ones that dont scare me.
My back broke in 3 places 6 months ago.
I cant do many things but I can still have very good sex.
I have the memory life of a goldfish on coke.
My eyes are also failing.
I do not like summer heat, nor do I appreciate the sun.
I love the sound of thunder.
Sometimes when it rains at night, I get overwhelmed and cry.
I like pencils. I own many.
I very rarely use pencils.
Marshmellows make me sick.
And ginger tastes like death, or perhaps it's the other way around.
I am completely in love.
I would forsake anything for him.
Anything.
I'm sappy
Therefore I'm oversensitive
Therefore I'm weak.
This irks individuals to no end.
I sit braless in pajamas when I'm home. Always.
I'll sulk a lot.
Nobody understands.
I like to be melodramatic.
I like to sit in dark corners and ponder.
Tears turn me on.
I want rough sex after I cry.
I have an incredible mother. I love her.
I do not appreciate her enough.
I can't stand her voice.
I get migraines if she speaks too much.
I have a father with an alcohol problem and a temper.
He was never *present* when I was a child.
I resent him for this.
I am the youngest of four children.
I am also an maasi of 2.
I enjoy the taste of blood.
I enjoy the sight of blood.
I like the sound of pain, or rather, the sound people make when theyre in pain.
Is that sick?
Yes, yes it is.
Does this mean it distracts me from another's sorrow?
No.
It merely means they have a few questions afterwards.
I used to cut myself.
It felt wonderful.
I sometimes wish I still did.
I miss feeling wonderful.
Weed excites me.
I have spent 3 weeks in rehab. It wasnt fun.
I was sexually abused as a child by my mothers tailor. Repeatedly.
I'm petrified of ants.
I itch just by looking at them.
I gag when gagged in front of. Everytime.
This amuses most people.
I have 7 tattoos. I only love 4.
I was in a coma for a week after an overdose 2 years ago.
My best friend died 2 years ago.
I have too many things left to say to him.
I project this on every other possible relationship that comes about.
I don't do well with confrontation.
But find it necessary to confront.
I don't find closure important.
I have no set religious belief.
For this I am glad.
I am mildly materialistic.
For the most part.
I am minimalist.
Again, for the most part.
I panic.
I am excessively self indulgent.
I am easily disoriented.
I am easily confused.
I am easily illogical.
I am easily turned on.
I am easily fucked.
So long as you don't tell me beforehand.
I am secure in my ignorance.
I am blissfully oblivious.
I fall in love very easily.
I never fall out.
Not that I make this very easy to believe.
I like punching boys in the stomach.
I love potatoes.
I am a potato.
I'm done with this.

Friday, June 02, 2006

'Words that go unspoken, deeds that go undone...'

(Anjuna Beach, Goa, 26th May 2006)