For Rave Magazine Dec Issue 2008

5 songs I'm currently in love with and on my playlist:

1. My Smile is a Rifle - 
   John Fruciante - Niandra Lades and Usually Just a T-shirt - 1994

2. Down by the Water - 
   PJ Harvey - To Bring You my Love - 1995 

3. Untitled track 14 and 18 - 
   John Fruciante - Niandra Lades and Usually Just a T-shirt - 1994

4. Weird Fishes-Arpeggi - 
   Radiohead - In Rainbows - 2007

5. 4 8 15 16 23 42 - 
   Deedrah - Temple of Science - 2007

****

Pick a song to dedicate:

 It's in our Hands - 
 Bjork - FamilyTree/Greatest Hits Boxset - 2002 - Dedicated to Kalhan Raina.

*****

backdrift....

'I dont believe in an interventionist god, but i know darlin' that you do, but if did i would kneel down and ask him.....' - nick c.
to intervene just this once and give me the extraordinary power to boycott the ignorant, hurtful and unexplainable and go about my day with peaceful anticipation and memories of freedom.

and since we're here, and if i had the time, i might even ask to intervene with a handful of lost soul, selfsufficiency, an antimindstagnating pill, reframing of a recycling neuron network into a new framework and some more cool gadgets...

*****

mmm....chocolate coated walnuts: my mum is a great great person.

****

2 horribly tiresome and nagging dreams/wishes:
A Micro lens
Concert photography for Radiohead.

yes here's where you laugh in my face and mock me with your upside grin and i smack you silly claiming both to be a possibility,

***

exercise everything...
mind, body, creativity and rights.

**

listen closer.

*

and so i understand that life IS a funny beast.

"Much like the ink tablets; when wet, they provide ink, when dry, they're still around, and when wet again they provide ink once more. I've been thinking of you for years."

high five, oscar?
:)

Nov 5th Wednesday

I saw a comet on saturday night in Mahableshwar that lasted a second and a half and shot across a cloudless starstruck sky. Intense. (more like WHAT the fuck was that...)

My legs gave way with astonishment and I leaped on k.
Poor boy.

More overwhelming than that is the astonishment of experiencing things so great in a continuous series over the past couple of months. Moving fuzzy trees bursting with life, sunsets so pink your eyes hurt, skies bursting with stars, a comet, a storm on the beach, clouds rising from underneath us, too many wild flowers, uncontrollable laughing fits, harsh disappointments, survival, attraction and repulsion simultaneously, contentment, grand and powerful kindness from strangers and aching silences.

All of it together has been a lifetime already.
How did we get so lucky?

*****

oh..: Im contemplating dreads or should it be a protien treatment?

I fucked around on a linux terminal for 5 hours today learning commands and had SO much fun. Now I know whyyy they spend hours doing that. hah and alot starts with 'ssh'...almost like "ssh, just for you to know, not the common man ;)"

I'm broke.

I couldnt answer Oscar when he asked me what love is and feel bad for the disappointment.

I miss the simplicity that comes with boredom. At the moment, the latter is anything but.

I'm feeling hung up about getting randomly laid. Nothing seems soulful enough. Opportunities flow and I shun them.

I miss the old but not enough to want it so I need to suck it up and its hard.

I'm glad Terence Mckenna speaks of what we already know. It makes for crazy listening.
I'm glad John Fruciante doesn't. It makes for crazy listening.

I'm insecure about new thoughts and theories intimidating me enough to want to shun them.
Where's the acceptance, where's the acceptance?

I'm in shock that I spoke to Aunty Leela and Alisha in the same day after over 12 years and it was purely circumstantial.

I want to throw honesty and lovestuff around so the people who need it can get with the program and swallow some when required. That would be nice wouldnt it?

I need another fucking Tattoo. Someone hear me.

If all my sentences start with the absence of 'i' things might actually get somewhere...
And being aware of this is the first step to metamorphosis...

Save yourself from this madness of 'self'.
Be littler than the dot on the 'i'.
do it..
Do it.

28th Sept Sunday

m afraid if i speak ill miss the mark. graze the surface in the form of a hairline cut and feel nothing. my best bet is to be silent...
for the first time, im writing a blog entry...and i know where im going with this without having to say it.

I want to, for the sake of blogging, documenting, remembering this time... there might come a time when ill vent it out and tarnish it...miss my point...

for now im going to hang on to a feeling i dont posess at the moment and walk blind in the darkness and hope it will all fall into place if whats inside me really is as pure as i currently imagine.

devoid of sleep for over 29 hours, i realize i must write when things are white again.

MDMA and a pen.
MDMA and a pen.
MDMA and a pen.

"and tonight we'll lay in the garden
where were bury our souls into the ground
today we'll lay in the garden
we will lift our souls from out of the grave." - linda perry

Far too early or late?

So I made a new blog. I thought : 'ah, im done with this part of my life, heres where i start a new chapter' but I'm kind of lost there.. I get stuck in a weird place when I see another blog name on the top.

I only wrote 3 entries anyway.

So I'm going to post them here with dates and continue this one.

This is me. This was my life. This is my documentation. I really have nothing to run away from. Breaks are alright when coming to terms with passive aggresiveness, acceptance and everything else isnt it?